every hour

There's a difference between knowing that I need God and desperately needing God.

Every morning that I rise, I know that I need Him. My brain knows it, but sometimes my heart feels all packed away safe. It's as if I know that I need Him and yet I don't feel like I need Him. The day hums along and I drive and park and listen to lectures and work and eat and fall into bed at night exhausted but feeling like I did well today. I made it. 

And then there's that moment when something loosens that controlled grip that I had on my life and suddenly my heart is no longer packed away safe but it's bare and raw and beating alive with I need you, God. I need You. 

Tragedy, uncertainty, the unexpected out of our control and beyond our reach--makes tangible the rawness of our own hearts. Our hearts that can be touched, pained and broken but are so incredibly alive and aware of our Need. 

Oh, how much more I learn when I am aware of my need for you, God. When I am no longer tucked into a nest of comfort and predictability--when the heart is stripped bare and the only safe place is in Your arms.

I strongly believe that when I suffer, the Lord takes me into the deepest, most tender parts of His Heart and they are beautiful. His word becomes radiantly life-giving and His Presence becomes the sole cry of my heart. And when I deeply long for these things, He so willingly gives of Himself. 

May we never lose our ability to need Him with bare hearts.